Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize