No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
