Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
