Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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