This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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