I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
