i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
