we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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