That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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