P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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