Whod you bang
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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