I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize