I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
