haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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