I must be too annoying 4 u.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
