garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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