I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
