Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
