One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
