better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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