If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
