You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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