I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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