I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
