she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
