i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she peed on how many people?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
