the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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