Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize