So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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