Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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