i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
