I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
where are you?
Hypothermia
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
