Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
