i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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