I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We just shotgunned beers for America
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
