did you get engaged???
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
True strength comes from lack of pants
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
