Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I think my moral compass just broke
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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