Define "chronic" masturbator.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
