That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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