Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
