Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
