no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
