i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
