kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we're so committed to being not committed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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