Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
