dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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