before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
