im about as happy as oj after his trial
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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