haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
