What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
