She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
