just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
