dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
even my farts smell like vagina
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
