You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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