is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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