how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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